I Thought You Would Never Ask
Written by Troy Norton
“I thought you would never ask,” I told my four year old son. His little feet got heavier and he looked like he wasn’t going to be able to take one more step. Before I could even ask…his exhausted little arms reached up to me and he asked me if I would carry him.
It was the end of one of my most favorite days of my life. I was our first “daddy son” baseball game. His little lips were blue from the raspberry slushy we shared, served in a mini-baseball hat. His innocent face had tiny streaks from the dirt that stuck to the sugar on his cheeks. We wore matching sunglasses, and he sat on my lap the whole game. Our t-shirts were both marked with the evidence of the dollar hotdog special they had at the game that night and our mutual love for mustard on a hotdog. I realized it was going to be a moment that I would never be able to repeat. His little mind was swirling with questions the whole game. “What is that guy doing with that club in his hand.?” “Why is that guy standing over there?” “What is he doing with his hands?” “Why are they running?”
It truly was one of my favorite times as a father.
Moments like that give me deeper insight into possible emotions that God our Father feels for us. God could have named Himself anything really…after all…He is God. He could have just said – “I am God your keeper” or “God your provider”. But, he went farther to describe himself as “God our Heavenly Father”. Perhaps to give me a point a reference to personally understand the depth of his love for me and how much he cares for me. Perhaps to help me understand that some of the trials in my life are there not to hurt me but to teach me and prepare me like I use a lesson to teach and prepare my son while still having a deep love for him.
But something about that baseball game helped me to make the emotional connection. I thought to myself, “I could not love this little boy more. I would die for him. I would do anything to keep him close to me forever…” Hmmm…that was beginning to sound very familiar. When he got too tired to walk back to the car, I wanted to carry my son. I was going to ask, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted to walk or not. So, I just prepared myself to swoop him up and carry him the rest of the way to the car. But then he DID ask. I felt no shame for him when he asked. Why would I? I felt no disappointment in him. There was just an overwhelming love that translated itself into joy and a smile on my face as I leaned down and gently lifted his small body into my arms and I said to myself as I wrapped my arms around him, “I thought you would ever ask”.
Don’t ever feel ashamed of your weakness. Don’t ever feel convicted that you might need to look up to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to carry you the rest of the way to safety. If He feels anything like a father, and I KNOW He does (He’s the Father of all fathers), He is already leaning into you and getting ready to swoop you up and thinking to himself “I thought you would never ask.”